FUCK

I just don't want to fucking do anything.................   I need to e-mail some of my teachers and tell them that I am dealing with a lot of anxiety and that they should try not to fail me cuz I will do my best to catch up. But I just don't want to. I feel like shit. Like I should be able to handle this. I'm not a fucking baby but I feel like I'm acting like one. If I don't get my grades up then I will not be able to get finacial aid next semester. This would not be a good thing cuz then I would need to get a second job and a place to live. And all this roommate fighting is getting obnoxious. I just feel mostly alone. I know Hannah cares about me and I know all my friends care about me but I don't want to burden them w/ my problems cuz I know they have their own. And they are taking care of themselves just fine so I should be able to, also. I could go to student services but they have already made their opinions about me and have already decided what my problem is. That's what it feels like anyway. I really just feel stupid for not being about to handle things  on my own. I'm fucking 21! why can't I just fucking grow up a little and be stable? Like Clara. she has a job and she can afford 350 dollar rent. Why can't I do the same? I need to just learn to live, I think. Maybe time off school would be a good thing. God, I'm so stressed. :P